Well, as the fates would have it, I failed my interview on Wednesday.
This is what I get for attempting anything. Failure.
To be honest, it’s a relief that the interview process is over. Was this job the focal point of my life? No. Am I depressed? Not really. I did try to get the position at work, but I didn’t give it 100% and I know that I could have prepared more. I learned a lesson, Fate. It’s been a while since I’ve actually tried to accomplish something outside of writing and even though I didn’t become an Assistant Manager, I do get to breathe again and focus on what I’m really passionate about: writing. I only wish that I wasn’t so nervous so that I don’t feel like I disappointed some of the co-workers that I’ve mentored and trained. My cool, calm, charming demeanor was crushed under the tidal wave of nerves. I should’ve taken that shot of whiskey before.
I’m going to improve my attitude at work and try a little harder to accomplish goals that will only benefit me in the long run. Maybe I’ll go for the position again in another department and keep moving up. Assistant Manager can’t hurt your resumé. I need a decent job to pay the bills and support myself while I write until the day that I’m a successful, published author. I’ll find one eventually and in the mean time, I’m better off than most at my current position and I need to RELAX.
Everything happens for a reason. This is the lesson that I’m constantly learning.
Teaching, management…I need to stop focusing about getting a paycheck and focus on my writing and creativity. Selling so many copies of my book last week really opened my eyes and motivated me. Now that the interview is over and I know I didn’t get the position, I’ll grow at work and continue to pursue my vision of becoming a published author.
It’s been one strangely stressful week, but alas there is a minor vacation on the horizon. It’s a good thing too, I’m gonna need it before my big interview next Wednesday. Nothing like a trip with the family to Disney World to distract from being prepared for a very difficult interview.
There is only one thing standing between me and a stress-free couple of days. A 15 hour-long shift. Sigh. I’m going to be working–willingly–between 7am and 10:30pm tomorrow. That’s what I like to call torture, kids. But I’m something of a masochist, so I guess it’s okay.
I have to use the time tomorrow for a meeting, interviews for other employees, and then working a closing shift. Will I get anything creative done at all? No. Will I die? Potentially. But work needs to be done and I’m taking work seriously at the moment. Plus, I have to make sure that I’m prepared for my interviews a week in advance.
I spent thirty minutes of my life watching one of the greatest American films of all time: Point Break (RIP Patrick Swayze). That was the highlight of my day so far. It is also the start of a peaceful evening before I have to hit the hay. I’m not editing tonight, or writing. My brain is beyond exhausted to do anything that involves thinking. Hence Point Break.
I’m in the mood for television. I’m stuck between watching Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy or starting Deadwood. Decisions, decisions. Maybe I’ll just sleep instead like a responsible adult?
It’s tough being a college graduate applying for a position that has absolutely nothing to do with his college degree.
I’ve spent the last couple of hours trying to come up with a creative Action Plan that will impress, despite being my first Action Plan ever. This is what I get for always being an under-achiever. I haven’t made a name for myself as a writer yet and thus I must establish myself in the real world by trying to move up the corporate ladder enough to support myself.
Oh, college, how little you prepared me for this. If I was told that I would be doing nothing with my English B.A., then I would have dropped out years ago.
…negativity aside, I’m trying to be optimistic about this new job opportunity at work. I want to make the best of it and better myself no matter where I go or what I’m doing years from now. I’m not going to let a chance like management pass me up just because it’s not being a full-time writer (the dream job). I’m playing it smart and going for this Assistant Management position because it’s the best thing I’ve got going for me right now job-wise. (Teaching in South Florida has more expensive hoops to jump through than I thought. You’d think with all of the shitty teachers down here, it’d be easy to get a teaching position. Now I know some of the worst teachers I’ve ever had the misfortune of having really wanted that job they hate so much.)
Writing is a tough career to break into. The life of an artist is a pain in the ass. I know this now. I also know that story-telling is my calling in life because there’s nothing that gives me more satisfaction than working on a story and finishing it. Daylight Hours may not be perfect, but it’s me working towards a goal. In the past year, I’ve slacked a lot and lost a bit of the fire that fueled me to completing that novel. I feel that flame coming back now and I’m going to focus it creatively to become successful. Stress sucks everything out of you and I’m starting to stress less about what job I’m going to have now that I’ve graduated and I’m focusing more on the writing and just being in the present.
It’s nearly midnight and I have to open…Jesus. Ignore everything positive I just said. I just want to sleep for more than 5 hours.