Well, as the fates would have it, I failed my interview on Wednesday.
This is what I get for attempting anything. Failure.
To be honest, it’s a relief that the interview process is over. Was this job the focal point of my life? No. Am I depressed? Not really. I did try to get the position at work, but I didn’t give it 100% and I know that I could have prepared more. I learned a lesson, Fate. It’s been a while since I’ve actually tried to accomplish something outside of writing and even though I didn’t become an Assistant Manager, I do get to breathe again and focus on what I’m really passionate about: writing. I only wish that I wasn’t so nervous so that I don’t feel like I disappointed some of the co-workers that I’ve mentored and trained. My cool, calm, charming demeanor was crushed under the tidal wave of nerves. I should’ve taken that shot of whiskey before.
I’m going to improve my attitude at work and try a little harder to accomplish goals that will only benefit me in the long run. Maybe I’ll go for the position again in another department and keep moving up. Assistant Manager can’t hurt your resumé. I need a decent job to pay the bills and support myself while I write until the day that I’m a successful, published author. I’ll find one eventually and in the mean time, I’m better off than most at my current position and I need to RELAX.
Everything happens for a reason. This is the lesson that I’m constantly learning.
Teaching, management…I need to stop focusing about getting a paycheck and focus on my writing and creativity. Selling so many copies of my book last week really opened my eyes and motivated me. Now that the interview is over and I know I didn’t get the position, I’ll grow at work and continue to pursue my vision of becoming a published author.
It’s tough being a college graduate applying for a position that has absolutely nothing to do with his college degree.
I’ve spent the last couple of hours trying to come up with a creative Action Plan that will impress, despite being my first Action Plan ever. This is what I get for always being an under-achiever. I haven’t made a name for myself as a writer yet and thus I must establish myself in the real world by trying to move up the corporate ladder enough to support myself.
Oh, college, how little you prepared me for this. If I was told that I would be doing nothing with my English B.A., then I would have dropped out years ago.
…negativity aside, I’m trying to be optimistic about this new job opportunity at work. I want to make the best of it and better myself no matter where I go or what I’m doing years from now. I’m not going to let a chance like management pass me up just because it’s not being a full-time writer (the dream job). I’m playing it smart and going for this Assistant Management position because it’s the best thing I’ve got going for me right now job-wise. (Teaching in South Florida has more expensive hoops to jump through than I thought. You’d think with all of the shitty teachers down here, it’d be easy to get a teaching position. Now I know some of the worst teachers I’ve ever had the misfortune of having really wanted that job they hate so much.)
Writing is a tough career to break into. The life of an artist is a pain in the ass. I know this now. I also know that story-telling is my calling in life because there’s nothing that gives me more satisfaction than working on a story and finishing it. Daylight Hours may not be perfect, but it’s me working towards a goal. In the past year, I’ve slacked a lot and lost a bit of the fire that fueled me to completing that novel. I feel that flame coming back now and I’m going to focus it creatively to become successful. Stress sucks everything out of you and I’m starting to stress less about what job I’m going to have now that I’ve graduated and I’m focusing more on the writing and just being in the present.
It’s nearly midnight and I have to open…Jesus. Ignore everything positive I just said. I just want to sleep for more than 5 hours.
As a product of my generation, my imagination is built around this cinematic gear grinding inside my head. I have these grand movies playing in my mind and I have to try and get them out on paper.
I love movies of all kinds, whether it’s a large action-adventure film or a complex, cinematographically orgasmic mind-fuck that makes you uncomfortable and question what’s going on around you.
Seeing a film or reading articles about films inspire and motivate me to open up Word and get to writing a story worth telling.
My aspirations as a writer come from the scenes and characters inside my head that don’t go away. They spark something inside of me that gets me to the computer or notepad so that I can craft something worthwhile with my thoughts.
Whether you want to write a future “Literary Classic” or a screenplay worthy of Michael Bay’s direction, I have one question:
How many other writers out there use film to find the drive and ambition to actually write?
A huge blast of inspiration hit me today and I’ve been writing non-stop for the past 3 hours.
The family was calling my name for dinner a few times, but they had the courtesy to give me space after I didn’t respond at all. I guess the sound of me on the keyboard was enough of a sign for them.
I don’t know about any other writers, but I’m thankful that they let me be. If I had stopped for any reason, I would’ve lost what I was getting into. Sometimes you get the most fulfilling, fruitful writing when you’re in these trances and I was definitely in the zone tonight.
I’m still editing the sequel to Daylight Hours and I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but I think I just wrote the beginning first chapter of a project I’ve been working on since I was 13 years old. This is extremely exciting for me. I don’t know if it’s any good, but I don’t care about that right now. I’m just happy that I finally got it out on paper in the exact way I’ve been trying to for months now.
It’s been a long time since I’ve had one of these random writing spells that hasn’t involved Kris Grant, so it’s refreshing.
Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, I’m going to go devour some dinner.